Following a new train of thought here, don't really know where it's gonna go.
Entropy: what is it? It's a type of theory in thermodynamics, but I don't know much about that. Essentially though, it's used to describe the tendency of something to move towards chaos. Some synonyms are collapse, decay, decline, degeneration, and worsening.
When I build a building, I make it out of wood. I reinforce that wood by getting pressed oak or a weathering spray. I build my plywood kingdom, and I live in it. In 20 years, it stands strong. In 100 years, it still stands, but in a thousand years, my house has now fallen to the ground. The wood soaked in the water from the rain, rotted, died, and eventually failed. Why?
When I play my game boy, I choose a game, put in batteries, and sit on my bed for hours and loose myself in pokémon or something as awesome. But a few days of intense playing results in dead batteries. I have to replace these in order to continue.
I am born, and my cells reproduce through mitosis to keep me alive. However, in 20 years, my growing is finished. I no longer am living, but dying slowly. My cells begin to reproduce slower, and my wounds take longer to heal. By body in unable to function like it used to, until at some point a vital element gives out and I die.
These are three examples off the top of my head of chaos. One definition of chaos is a Chasm or Abyss, and hell is often described in the bible as an Abyss. Perhaps hell isn't fire and brimstone, but a lack of order completely?
Does this mean the nature of the world is to move towards hell?
This seems to me at least to be the disposition of relationships as well. It's like having a friendship or a romantic relationship is having a car for a long time; it's a constant battle between your desire for the car to survive, and it's natural desire to fail. In order for the car to work, you have to change the oil all the time, give it gas, clean it, change your transmission fluid, and all sorts of things like that, but sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent the car or relationship breaking down.
So if a relationship is supposed to model the relationship between god and his people, why is it that relationships deteriorate at the same rate as everything else? Of course, only a fool would think we as people are doing relationships right. It's obvious that, despite the fact that we are relational beings, we fail ultimately at the one thing that brings us fulfillment.
So relationships deteriorate at the same rate as everything else then. Does this mean that everything is just a controlled fall towards anarchy? Every attempt to add structure to anything results, eventually, in failure. If everything constantly moves towards chaos, entropy, does that mean that nothing can ever succeed? That kinda takes the motivation out of everything ever.
I'll probably come back to this later.
~wes~
15 December 2008
07 December 2008
Tyler Durden
Another late night eh?
"How Tyler saw it was that getting God’s attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God’s hate is better than His indifference.
If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?
We are God’s middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.
Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption.
Which is worse, hell or nothing?
Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.
'Burn the Louvre,” the mechanic says, “and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names.'"
Just cause I don't believe it doesn't mean it isn't an interesting point. It seems like one that is regularly recreated in children, doesn't it? Kids that get in trouble for attention, at least.
Why are we as men attracted to Tyler's characteristics? I think because not only does he address a real issue, but he offers a solution, one with many flaws, but one that has a profound effect. Who cares if it's the wrong solution? It's something, and that's better than inaction. Anyone who's been frustrated with the world of inaction can identify. Or with the feeling of helplessness, Tyler's plan may fail in the end, but in the moment, each person has control over themselves. And by choosing to give their free will to project mayhem as they do, they make a decision of free will to do something instead of clinging to freedom and stagnating in inaction.
So violent beating of each other may not ALWAYS be the answer. But what about the proactiveness and action? I think sometimes the individual must step aside for the entity. That seems to be what Tyler kept getting at with his constant commentary on how fight club wasn't about him or the narrator. Nobody matters. Alone, each person is just a person, but united, for whatever reason, good or bad, men (women) can provide a serious strength. The risk in this is loosing one's self to the whole. Ironically, Tyler never asked anything less than complete integration into the machine of project mayhem.
What possess sane men to give up everything for a cause that doesn't give a shit about them? Sometimes, in a situation where the cause is "noble and just" like feeding starving children in africa or something, the benefits are obvious. But in project mayhem's case, the cause is anything but noble. In fact, it's not even legal. It makes me wonder about the natural conditions of man himself. Maybe every man and woman is already inclined towards devotion. Maybe that devotion is a skewed version of what should be a devotion to god? Instead it is aimed at other things, due to an inability to focus or be completely devoted to god in the first place.
Hmmm....this is an interesting thought process, but it's late. I'll pick up later. I still want to discuss more of the inherant natures of man, and don't let me forget to talk about universal tendency for entropy. Oh philosophy...>_<
~wes~
"How Tyler saw it was that getting God’s attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God’s hate is better than His indifference.
If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?
We are God’s middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.
Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption.
Which is worse, hell or nothing?
Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.
'Burn the Louvre,” the mechanic says, “and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names.'"
Just cause I don't believe it doesn't mean it isn't an interesting point. It seems like one that is regularly recreated in children, doesn't it? Kids that get in trouble for attention, at least.
Why are we as men attracted to Tyler's characteristics? I think because not only does he address a real issue, but he offers a solution, one with many flaws, but one that has a profound effect. Who cares if it's the wrong solution? It's something, and that's better than inaction. Anyone who's been frustrated with the world of inaction can identify. Or with the feeling of helplessness, Tyler's plan may fail in the end, but in the moment, each person has control over themselves. And by choosing to give their free will to project mayhem as they do, they make a decision of free will to do something instead of clinging to freedom and stagnating in inaction.
So violent beating of each other may not ALWAYS be the answer. But what about the proactiveness and action? I think sometimes the individual must step aside for the entity. That seems to be what Tyler kept getting at with his constant commentary on how fight club wasn't about him or the narrator. Nobody matters. Alone, each person is just a person, but united, for whatever reason, good or bad, men (women) can provide a serious strength. The risk in this is loosing one's self to the whole. Ironically, Tyler never asked anything less than complete integration into the machine of project mayhem.
What possess sane men to give up everything for a cause that doesn't give a shit about them? Sometimes, in a situation where the cause is "noble and just" like feeding starving children in africa or something, the benefits are obvious. But in project mayhem's case, the cause is anything but noble. In fact, it's not even legal. It makes me wonder about the natural conditions of man himself. Maybe every man and woman is already inclined towards devotion. Maybe that devotion is a skewed version of what should be a devotion to god? Instead it is aimed at other things, due to an inability to focus or be completely devoted to god in the first place.
Hmmm....this is an interesting thought process, but it's late. I'll pick up later. I still want to discuss more of the inherant natures of man, and don't let me forget to talk about universal tendency for entropy. Oh philosophy...>_<
~wes~
27 November 2008
Thoughts on Truth
Here are some thoughts I had tonight concerning truth and whether it exists, whether it is important, and whether it is universal.
If a kid is asked a math question, 4 x 4, and he answers 16 because the smart kid next to him said the answer, is it true? It's obviously correct: but is it the true answer?
If I don't know motive behind my actions, are they true? They may still be accurate or effective, but are they true? I know that when I see my friend, I run up and give them a huge hug, possibly embarrassing them or cracking their back. This appears to be, and is, affection and love. Is it still love if my motive is to borrow money or to make myself feel good?
Is truth determined by the giver or the recipient? If I get kissed, and I believe it, it is love to me. And it's true until proven otherwise. But if I get kissed and the giver is lying, is it still true? (Don't worry chels, not talking about you, just an example).
I think paul talks a little about this. He says it doesn't matter that people are spreading christianity to get him into jail or into more trouble, because it's effective. But where is the truth? And why does the lack of truth (if it is indeed that) bother me so much?
I'm always asking the question why. I want to analyze everything down it's core, I guess so I can replicate it again. But someone asked me the question, why do I keep asking why?
Why do I need to know why things are the way they are? If the effect is obvious and positive, is it any less true if the motive isn't correct? I don't want to know what you are doing, I want to know what you are thinking.
I almost secretly don't want to know why. If I'm kissed, and I believe it's true, whether or not it is, I feel fulfilled. But if I ask why and it wasn't true, then I feel deceived. If I didn't ask the question, was it true? Did I make it false by asking for verification?
Love is dangerous like that. In a sense, no love is "true love" because true love is perfect, and perfect love can only come from a perfect being. But in another sense, any love that is believed is true love, because until it's proven wrong or untrue, the recipient believes it.
Do I want to be the person who assumes all love to be true? If I accept love without asking why, or anything without asking why, I risk naivety, and in the process, heartbreak, because while some love is true, not all of it is. However, if I question everything, I run an even greater risk of skepticism, and in the process, a hardened heart. While no love save gods may be perfect, some love is still true and work the risk.
Where is the medium of questioning and acceptance? As I grow older and question more, I realize that I know less than ever before. I can never possess enough knowledge to be sure of anything, because knowledge only creates more questions, so any concrete sureness will have to come from faith, whether it be faith in a god or faith in the lack of a god.
I wonder...was man created to ask questions or to accept answers? In an Eden, the answers to questions would be readily available, and dishonestly or lies wouldn't even be a factor. In that sense, asking questions and having natural curiosity would grow boring, as every question would have an answer with no effort. In addition, questioning seems so natural to me. My personality dictates that everything my senses intake, I question. And a final supplement, when I ask a question like this, whether truth is concrete or in the eye of the recipient, it feels like something has clouded the answer. It feels natural that truth should be universal, not something that has to be taken as subjective depending on the situation. What is the unknown variable here that is skewing my otherwise perfect equation?
I mean, my first inclination is to say that sin is the unknown variable. If we hadn't messed up in the first place, all this would make sense, right? But that doesn't seem right; a naturally curious creature like myself would never be satisfied with an answer that presented itself so easily. While I can't imagine what a world without sin would be like (indeed, much to my disgust, it's so much a part of me now that I can't imagine myself without it), I don't think a perfect god would create beings that were mere cows. If he wanted mindless followers, he wouldn't have had the problem of a human revolt in the first place.
Finding the difference between blind faith and hardened skepticism is going to be a lifelong process for me I think. I naturally will always want to bring everything into question, which is good I think, but at the same time, I can't let my questions interfere with my belief in god himself. I've been through that valley once already and it isn't fun. If there is nobody to ask the questions to, then I am left by myself, and that is miserable.
My desire then: to ask the hard questions without doubting the existence of the god who has shown himself to me already.
Also
Mom and dad, I love you. :)
If a kid is asked a math question, 4 x 4, and he answers 16 because the smart kid next to him said the answer, is it true? It's obviously correct: but is it the true answer?
If I don't know motive behind my actions, are they true? They may still be accurate or effective, but are they true? I know that when I see my friend, I run up and give them a huge hug, possibly embarrassing them or cracking their back. This appears to be, and is, affection and love. Is it still love if my motive is to borrow money or to make myself feel good?
Is truth determined by the giver or the recipient? If I get kissed, and I believe it, it is love to me. And it's true until proven otherwise. But if I get kissed and the giver is lying, is it still true? (Don't worry chels, not talking about you, just an example).
I think paul talks a little about this. He says it doesn't matter that people are spreading christianity to get him into jail or into more trouble, because it's effective. But where is the truth? And why does the lack of truth (if it is indeed that) bother me so much?
I'm always asking the question why. I want to analyze everything down it's core, I guess so I can replicate it again. But someone asked me the question, why do I keep asking why?
Why do I need to know why things are the way they are? If the effect is obvious and positive, is it any less true if the motive isn't correct? I don't want to know what you are doing, I want to know what you are thinking.
I almost secretly don't want to know why. If I'm kissed, and I believe it's true, whether or not it is, I feel fulfilled. But if I ask why and it wasn't true, then I feel deceived. If I didn't ask the question, was it true? Did I make it false by asking for verification?
Love is dangerous like that. In a sense, no love is "true love" because true love is perfect, and perfect love can only come from a perfect being. But in another sense, any love that is believed is true love, because until it's proven wrong or untrue, the recipient believes it.
Do I want to be the person who assumes all love to be true? If I accept love without asking why, or anything without asking why, I risk naivety, and in the process, heartbreak, because while some love is true, not all of it is. However, if I question everything, I run an even greater risk of skepticism, and in the process, a hardened heart. While no love save gods may be perfect, some love is still true and work the risk.
Where is the medium of questioning and acceptance? As I grow older and question more, I realize that I know less than ever before. I can never possess enough knowledge to be sure of anything, because knowledge only creates more questions, so any concrete sureness will have to come from faith, whether it be faith in a god or faith in the lack of a god.
I wonder...was man created to ask questions or to accept answers? In an Eden, the answers to questions would be readily available, and dishonestly or lies wouldn't even be a factor. In that sense, asking questions and having natural curiosity would grow boring, as every question would have an answer with no effort. In addition, questioning seems so natural to me. My personality dictates that everything my senses intake, I question. And a final supplement, when I ask a question like this, whether truth is concrete or in the eye of the recipient, it feels like something has clouded the answer. It feels natural that truth should be universal, not something that has to be taken as subjective depending on the situation. What is the unknown variable here that is skewing my otherwise perfect equation?
I mean, my first inclination is to say that sin is the unknown variable. If we hadn't messed up in the first place, all this would make sense, right? But that doesn't seem right; a naturally curious creature like myself would never be satisfied with an answer that presented itself so easily. While I can't imagine what a world without sin would be like (indeed, much to my disgust, it's so much a part of me now that I can't imagine myself without it), I don't think a perfect god would create beings that were mere cows. If he wanted mindless followers, he wouldn't have had the problem of a human revolt in the first place.
Finding the difference between blind faith and hardened skepticism is going to be a lifelong process for me I think. I naturally will always want to bring everything into question, which is good I think, but at the same time, I can't let my questions interfere with my belief in god himself. I've been through that valley once already and it isn't fun. If there is nobody to ask the questions to, then I am left by myself, and that is miserable.
My desire then: to ask the hard questions without doubting the existence of the god who has shown himself to me already.
Also
Mom and dad, I love you. :)
21 November 2008
Writing
I miss writing poetry. It sounds wimpy and girly, but that's ok cause I write MANLY POERY. None of that free verse bullshit, my poetry has structure and schemes, like a real man's poetry should. And yes, I know by trying to make my poetry manly, it's only making me seem more and more desperate.
My mind is reeling, all with thoughts of you
And driving back home never seemed so far.
Sleeping by myself will never do,
For one ne’er can be happy as two are.
My heart, it beats a fluttered joyous song
Of closeness and of love proclaimed as true.
And my heart waits, if should be part for long,
Anticipating our next rendez-vous.
Enthralled by amber eyes and chocolate hair,
Desires I naught save a look from she,
And with her words of love, she will ensnare
My affections and all my loyalty.
I yearn not for another’s company,
For you encapsulate the world to me.
Happy? Sonnets rock.
~wes~
My mind is reeling, all with thoughts of you
And driving back home never seemed so far.
Sleeping by myself will never do,
For one ne’er can be happy as two are.
My heart, it beats a fluttered joyous song
Of closeness and of love proclaimed as true.
And my heart waits, if should be part for long,
Anticipating our next rendez-vous.
Enthralled by amber eyes and chocolate hair,
Desires I naught save a look from she,
And with her words of love, she will ensnare
My affections and all my loyalty.
I yearn not for another’s company,
For you encapsulate the world to me.
Happy? Sonnets rock.
~wes~
17 November 2008
Home Now
I am home now!
Woo...what a good weekend. I went up to visit chris in San Luis Obispo and spent seriously every minute of it climbing or playing video games or eating. Three of my favorite things! We climbed at Bishop's Peak, Cabrillo Peak, and at the indoor place he has a membership at, SLO-OP.
I'll tell you...nothing really makes you revel in the beauty of god's creation more than being at the top of a climb. You know why? Cause that's not what you're thinking at all. Everything is simple on the rock, and there are few distractions. I don't sit halfway up a climb and think, ooh wow, god is amazing for making this. I sit halfway up a climb and think, I need to move forward. One more hand, one more foot...and I think that's the way it's supposed to be.
When I loose myself in a climb, in the adrenilin 70 feet in the air, I know god is there. It's not a matter of wishing he is, or praying he is, or being convinced by the beauty around me. It's because being 70 feet in the air really cuts through the bullsh*t of life, down to what is important, what I know and what I don't know. I know if I fall, I will get hurt or die. I know my life is in the hands of my belayer. And I know that there is a god looking at me, consumed with a passionate love for me. He sees the joy I have when I'm hanging from my fingertips and he feels it too, and it brings him the greatest joy.
Why does physical activity speak so strongly to me about god? I think it's cause I am a thinker and I think a lot, and when I stop thinking and start doing, when my reason and logic surrender to necessity and instinct, it makes it much easier to see god. I see him through everything everyday, but I never see him clearer than when I have to trust the rope and the rock and the belay. It's like practice surrender; now I just need to remember to do it when I have to climb a 5.15b in life.
In conclusion, I can't wait to go to Joshua Tree and climb again. :)
Also, the dance was amazing. Possibly one of the best times I've ever had. Chelsea looked so stunning that I still have trouble breathing when I look at the pictures and the queen mary is way awesome.
Woo...what a good weekend. I went up to visit chris in San Luis Obispo and spent seriously every minute of it climbing or playing video games or eating. Three of my favorite things! We climbed at Bishop's Peak, Cabrillo Peak, and at the indoor place he has a membership at, SLO-OP.
I'll tell you...nothing really makes you revel in the beauty of god's creation more than being at the top of a climb. You know why? Cause that's not what you're thinking at all. Everything is simple on the rock, and there are few distractions. I don't sit halfway up a climb and think, ooh wow, god is amazing for making this. I sit halfway up a climb and think, I need to move forward. One more hand, one more foot...and I think that's the way it's supposed to be.
When I loose myself in a climb, in the adrenilin 70 feet in the air, I know god is there. It's not a matter of wishing he is, or praying he is, or being convinced by the beauty around me. It's because being 70 feet in the air really cuts through the bullsh*t of life, down to what is important, what I know and what I don't know. I know if I fall, I will get hurt or die. I know my life is in the hands of my belayer. And I know that there is a god looking at me, consumed with a passionate love for me. He sees the joy I have when I'm hanging from my fingertips and he feels it too, and it brings him the greatest joy.
Why does physical activity speak so strongly to me about god? I think it's cause I am a thinker and I think a lot, and when I stop thinking and start doing, when my reason and logic surrender to necessity and instinct, it makes it much easier to see god. I see him through everything everyday, but I never see him clearer than when I have to trust the rope and the rock and the belay. It's like practice surrender; now I just need to remember to do it when I have to climb a 5.15b in life.
In conclusion, I can't wait to go to Joshua Tree and climb again. :)
Also, the dance was amazing. Possibly one of the best times I've ever had. Chelsea looked so stunning that I still have trouble breathing when I look at the pictures and the queen mary is way awesome.
14 November 2008
Dancin' Today
Haha! I feel like I'm in high school again (which wasn't that long ago), but I know I'm not because its a good feeling. :P Actually I got asked to the APU dance by (guess who) Chelsea, and we're going today! Essentially my entire day is going to be leading up to that and getting ready to leave for SLO tomorrow morning ass-early.
I'll post up some pictures as soon as we have them. Also, check facebook for pictures from this weekend when I get back. We should be doing some serious climbing, so it'll be pretty bomb.
~wes~
I'll post up some pictures as soon as we have them. Also, check facebook for pictures from this weekend when I get back. We should be doing some serious climbing, so it'll be pretty bomb.
~wes~
13 November 2008
Evening
It's sleepy time...and that is accurate, because I am sleepy.
Also:
FFVII - Dirge of Cerberus is wicked easy but way too much fun. There go four hours of my life I'll never get back. Ironically, if I could cash them in and get them back, I'd probably use them to play some more.
~wes~
Also:
FFVII - Dirge of Cerberus is wicked easy but way too much fun. There go four hours of my life I'll never get back. Ironically, if I could cash them in and get them back, I'd probably use them to play some more.
~wes~
Publication
Dude
My english teacher says my short story for the class is only a revision or two away from being "a strong candidate for submission for publication."
That's pretty awesome.
My english teacher says my short story for the class is only a revision or two away from being "a strong candidate for submission for publication."
That's pretty awesome.
In English
Good morning,
It still is morning because it's 11:15 am. I'm sitting in english and listening to Bonnie talk about first person versus third person. I am very very sleepy because I went to bed about 2 or 2:30 because I was out in Azusa with Chels. But it was more than worth it! I really like that girl.
This morning has been relatively packed. I got up at 7, which means I got up about 7:30, and tried to get an appointment with the counselor, which is impossible because the only two spots for NEXT thursday were filled at 7:35, five minutes after the office opened. But fortunately, Susan Starr rocks and she fit me in in 8 minutes between her appointments. Now I know what I need to choose for classes; now I need to just make the decisions.
Also I picked up my Lappy from the mac store! They say it's fixed, but I haven't checked yet, so I suppose I will find out. I need to go to REI after class to replace my chalk bag too, the plastic piece has broken and chalk spills everywhere.
I have had a very good couple of days. This makes me happy. :)
It still is morning because it's 11:15 am. I'm sitting in english and listening to Bonnie talk about first person versus third person. I am very very sleepy because I went to bed about 2 or 2:30 because I was out in Azusa with Chels. But it was more than worth it! I really like that girl.
This morning has been relatively packed. I got up at 7, which means I got up about 7:30, and tried to get an appointment with the counselor, which is impossible because the only two spots for NEXT thursday were filled at 7:35, five minutes after the office opened. But fortunately, Susan Starr rocks and she fit me in in 8 minutes between her appointments. Now I know what I need to choose for classes; now I need to just make the decisions.
Also I picked up my Lappy from the mac store! They say it's fixed, but I haven't checked yet, so I suppose I will find out. I need to go to REI after class to replace my chalk bag too, the plastic piece has broken and chalk spills everywhere.
I have had a very good couple of days. This makes me happy. :)
12 November 2008
Very Professional
So I borrow my dad's computer at his work while he's at a staff meeting and end up posting with it. Heh. I feel so professional with an office with highlighters and a nice computer and pictures of myself to my right. I even have a stapler! Damn...a stapler. Its one of those things you can never find when you need it.
Lunch went well, thanks for asking. I love garlic and apparently I made good pasta today cause Chels and her roomies ranted and raved about it. Deliciousoso!
Hm...I don't know if I'd want to work in an office. But it certainly is nice to have a place where I can just drop all of my shit all the time. I should get me one of these.
This keyboard it very very stiff. Odd.
~wes~
Lunch went well, thanks for asking. I love garlic and apparently I made good pasta today cause Chels and her roomies ranted and raved about it. Deliciousoso!
Hm...I don't know if I'd want to work in an office. But it certainly is nice to have a place where I can just drop all of my shit all the time. I should get me one of these.
This keyboard it very very stiff. Odd.
~wes~
What a geek
At the mac store, hoping that perhaps they can take a look at my laptop without an appointment. It looks like I might end up being here for as long as an hour, but I hope not, as that would certainly throw off my oh so tightly arranged schedule.
Also: going to chaffey to meet with the councilor? Waste of time. They don't have openings until next thursday, and in order to get those, I need to show up tomorrow at 7:30 and make an appointment.
What is with appointments and them hating me? At least I say that until I try to have dinner at Claim Jumper.
~wes~
Full Day
Good morning,
It looks like I have a full day ahead of me. First, I'm off to Chaffey to attempt to meet with Susan Starr. I guess my future has to be determined somehow. Then, its off to the store to buy pasta and spaghetti sauce for Chels and her roomies this afternoon. Then I guess I'm just chillin,' hopefully getting some work done on my story that's due for Short Fiction on Thursday, and a smoothie w/ mi padre, and then an relaxing movie night with the prettiest girl in the world.
Man, I have to be careful ranting and raving about how pretty my girlfriend is here. I'll end up like a crazy bandito if I'm not careful.
~wes~
It looks like I have a full day ahead of me. First, I'm off to Chaffey to attempt to meet with Susan Starr. I guess my future has to be determined somehow. Then, its off to the store to buy pasta and spaghetti sauce for Chels and her roomies this afternoon. Then I guess I'm just chillin,' hopefully getting some work done on my story that's due for Short Fiction on Thursday, and a smoothie w/ mi padre, and then an relaxing movie night with the prettiest girl in the world.
Man, I have to be careful ranting and raving about how pretty my girlfriend is here. I'll end up like a crazy bandito if I'm not careful.
~wes~
FIRST
This is my first entry. I am new to the blog world, despite its induction into society as a regular and accepted form of publishing, probably because I adhere to the subtext here. It is also 1:24 AM in PST, so there are many things that could be running through my head.
One of them is how much I miss playing the piano. As I began blazing my own musical trail, the desire to express myself musically has become nigh undeniable; however, I frequently suffer a musical plugging. I want to play, but I feel almost as if I plagiarize if I express myself through another composer's work. However, tonight I felt more expressed than I've felt in a while, playing a song written by Beethoven. Isn't that a nice change?
Also, I am thinking I should be asleep, as I have to make an appointment with my college councilor tomorrow morning to better ready myself for becoming an english teacher. Is that a noble profession? Is it something that I could support a family with? Is it something that will make me happy? Good questions.
Good evening.
~wes~
One of them is how much I miss playing the piano. As I began blazing my own musical trail, the desire to express myself musically has become nigh undeniable; however, I frequently suffer a musical plugging. I want to play, but I feel almost as if I plagiarize if I express myself through another composer's work. However, tonight I felt more expressed than I've felt in a while, playing a song written by Beethoven. Isn't that a nice change?
Also, I am thinking I should be asleep, as I have to make an appointment with my college councilor tomorrow morning to better ready myself for becoming an english teacher. Is that a noble profession? Is it something that I could support a family with? Is it something that will make me happy? Good questions.
Good evening.
~wes~
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