Unnecessary Conflict?

I have this weird belief: I think, if in any situation other than actually referring to theatre, if a person says the word "drama," especially when complaining about a disagreement, that they are participating in it. So if you read this, and think that word, and wonder why I dance around it, that is why.

Now moving on.

Why are people incapable of being human? I am defining "human" here as patient, forgiving, and concerned with the well-being of others. If we are truly concerned with the well-being of others, would there even be these ridiculous, retarded, UTTERLY fucking USELESS arguments? Honestly...I don't know how much of it I can take.

You know that gossip thing that we are warned against as children? I understand the appeal in that, when you're hanging out with a friend, and you are interested in the lives of other people, so you and your friend compare information. That's one thing. But the type of gossip that involves more than one person, where the motive is no longer (or no longer disguised as) concern for the well-being of the person about whom the discussion is centered upon, but is for the DELIBERATE DEHUMANIZATION of that person, that makes me sick. I absolutely cannot be in a group of people who begin a conversation that is just complaining about a person. Tearing them down! Casting judgment on them! Drawing a conclusion based on BIASED, SELECTED information, in order to create schisms!

WHAT

THE

FUCK.

Isn't this person your friend? How can you show such obvious resentment towards someone who you have promised your loyalty? This just doesn't make sense to me.

We need to take responsibility for our choices. If you are friends with someone you don't like anymore, you don't get away from them by making everyone hating them. Our responsibility as people who make relationships is to deal with them in a mature, honest, caring manner.

This being said, if anyone who has read this wonders why I get up and leave when a group starts an "oh my god can you believe what he just did" circle, you now know. It is because I cannot stand to be around you for another second. It is because I have no more respect for you. But most of all, it's because if I am next to you for one more second, listening to you deceive a person who thinks you are trustworthy, I will vomit everywhere. So just don't include me in that useless shit.

Nevermind

I was gonna post something...but then I realized how stupid I sound.

Cause of Death: Irreconcilable Differences.

Thus ends a chapter of my life that began over a year and two months ago.

The worst part? Thinking that this just isn't right. Knowing that the relationship isn't ending because people aren't in love, or because we don't want it to work, but that we just clash in ways that as the people we are now, we cannot work around. Thinking that in our relationship, we have more than most people have in their marriages, and knowing that it isn't enough. And most of all, the worry that tomorrow will bring wisdom that could have saved us.

That's what convinces us as people to endure. The promise of something different tomorrow. But what about when tomorrow is too far away? Chelsea and I could no longer wait until tomorrow to gain the wisdom to mature our relationship further. In fact, we may already possess that wisdom; I'm sure she does. Rather, I do not possess the fortitude of spirit to put into action that wisdom I have been handed over and over again.

So I am left, as expected, with a broken heart. I can only hope that the friends I have surrounding me can be a strong enough deadline to help me endure. I trust that my hindsight bias in the future will make me feel like a fool for not seeing the good in this, and I trust that the god that I inevitably end up believing in has my best interest in mind. I pray for strength and the willingness to grieve, the resistance against the pain of heartache.

But I still can't take her pictures down off my wall.