I met a man named Rob today who reminded me why I really don't like going to church.

Rob is the pastor of a highly charismatic church thing called the Refuge House of Prayer, once associated with the International House of Prayer. That told me a lot right off the bat.

Rob explained to me how his church has encountered countless opposition from the Evangelical church in the city, even so far as to have his church labeled as a cult and being called a false prophet.

Rob told me about the prayer sessions they would have weekly that often would leave people paralyzed for hours. He said that praying often made the congregation drunk on the spirit, lumbering around, entirely out of control of their bodies. He said there were healings happening weekly and that they have entire rooms dedicated towards healing prayer.

Every time Rob and I stopped talking about something and I went somewhere else, he told me to "go in the spirit" or to "go with the fire of the Lord." So I filled up a pitcher of water in the spirit. I moved chairs with the fire of the Lord. Apparently.

Rob made a point of telling me about the worship leader that had come from his church who now is touring with Jeremy Camp. He said that his church members are doing some recording and making some amazing music. He told me about how he played drums for this worship leader and played in his band. He told me about all the different venues that he played for God.

Rob was very eager to hear about what my opinions on things were. He asked what church I went to, and I said none. Then I corrected myself and said I went to a small Anglican church a few times (my dad's church; "a few times" is an exaggeration. I've been twice). He asked why I didn't go to church, and I said I didn't get along with many church people. He wanted to know the issues that I was in disagreement with.

I was very lucky. Rob liked to talk about himself more than he liked to listen to what I had to say. This way, I was able to distract him and not answer his questions.

Rob asked me whether I was Evangelical or not.

"So, you're evangelical? Or...methodist?"
"No."
"What are you?"
pause
"I'm a...[stutter]...kind of a heavily deconstructed christian?"
"What's that?"
"Well, I'm not christian, depending on who you ask."
"Oh, me neither. I hate that label..."Christian." Following Christ is so much more of a lifestyle, you know? Those fad Christians make me not want to even associate with the term "Christian"........[continues for 5 or 10 minutes]"

I was lucky that Rob didn't really want to hear what I had to say. I think, at least, that I was lucky. But I kind of knew it right off the bat. That Rob didn't want to listen to me, that is. You should have seen the look of excitement when I mentioned that there were certain "issues" that I didn't agree with most churches on.

If Rob had wanted to listen to me, maybe I would have wanted to share. So maybe it's less that I didn't want to share, and more that I recognized that he wasn't interested in listening.

Seeing the flags in the corner of the room for worship flag spinning reminded me how much I can hate church.

It's really not fair. I say "to each, their own" and try my best to let people do whatever they're gonna do on their own. But I can't help but want to say "bullshit" every time I hear about a weekly prophecy meeting.