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I won't be able to sleep until I get this out, I think.

I'm not a Christian, but everything I analyze is based on a Judeo-Christian value system, ultimately founded in scripture.  Why is that?

Well, I think it's because I started with christianity.  Then I lost that and looked to government, and realized, holy fuck, as messed up as the bible is, democracy, theocracy, communism, totalitarianism, representative democracy, republics, anarchy...it's all bullshit.

Fuck me, man!  I need some sort of center.  Fuck off, Derrida, because to be entirely centerless is to be apathetic.  Of course we can't change anything.  There's nothing to change to.  And nothing to change from.

So, I find the teachings of jesus - and, for the most part, JUST jesus - to be a good enough center.  I guess I'm desperate enough.

Jesus and Derrida.  I think that means, work with your center.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  Do unto others as you'd have them do.  Love, love, love, love, love.  But, remember that your center is a false one.  It will shift.  You know nothing.

I know nothing.

I will be wrong.

Humility.  The practice of biting my tongue.  The practice of admitting failure.



Imagine a presidential candidate that got up on stage and told us to fix the problems ourselves.  To stop trying to pawn off the US problems onto a new policy, and take personal, individual responsibility.









I think I wrote years ago that I don't think I can survive looking at the macro.  I need the micro.  Things are...so messy up in the sky.  The postal service had it wrong.

I can't do macro anything.  I can't teach hundreds of thousands of students to read.  I can't fix a budget crisis.  I can't fight nation wide obesity.

I can just do small things.  God, some days I wish somebody would remind me that the little achievements I make towards these goals are what matter the most.

I'll remind you instead.  The little achievements you make towards these goals are what matter most.  Your afternoon jog fights American obesity.  And then, you encouraging your friend to jog with you fights it even more.  Don't give up.

Your kind word, your willingness to engage instead of exercising the majority privilege of disengaging, your grief and your apology are a single stitch in the gaping wound left in the side of the native american population by manifest destiny.

I'm mostly talking to myself right now.