Curiosity.
Denial.
Frustration.
Angst.
Misdirection.
It's like the feeling you get when you are doing a really hard roof-ish climb, and you get to a point where you think you can do the move, but you're not sure, and you try for it, but then freak out and lock up and then you suddenly realize this rope will not hold you, your belayer does not know what they are doing, your harness cannot protect you, and as soon as you let go, you are going to fall to the ground and die. Then your stomach tightens (this is the most key part), and you forget everything you've ever learned on the wall, and you cannot, you CANNOT, move, you just sit and wait to fall, and wait to die.
It's the feeling you get when you are blindfolded or in perfect dark, and think you've passed the last stair, and start to fall: your core tenses (this is the most key part), and you trip and think, for just a second, I am going to die.
Anticipation.
So there.
~wes~
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