27 March 2010

What is Christian

Apparently this word has a terribly vague meaning to it.

When asked the question, most would answer "To be a Christian is to believe god sent jesus, he paid it all, and you are forgiven if you believe and accept it."

I don't think I really have a problem with this.

However, what most mean by this, I think, is that this acceptance is followed by the immediate acceptance of all church rules, regulations, and TRADITIONS that ordinarily accompany a standard, western evangelical "Christian." That means that if one does not accept these rules and regulations, the aforementioned christianity is nullified.

Specifically, the one that gets on my nerves is the gays, but it's not limited to that. It includes the premarital sex-ers, the avid alcohol enthusiasts, the metalheads, the pot smokers, the cussers, the porn viewers, whatever. Is drinking alcohol before being 21 a sin worthy of the loss of "christian" title?

Rather, I think there is an addiction that far surpasses the pornography market. It's when you leave a bunch of people that have been told that their way is better in a room together for two hours a week and let them talk themselves into a blind frenzy. It's an addiction to being better, holier, and superior, and it's called a church.

In a recent conversation with a friend, the topic of the "theme of the new testament" came up. Now, I had always been taught, or maybe I drew this conclusion myself unconsciously, that the theme of the new testament was jesus. Jesus shows up, sent by Big Daddy himself, and forgives everything ever done, right? Through the ultimate sacrifice, made in love. That seems like a pretty awesome moral to me, whether or not the historical specifics are accurate.

However, apparently, to many, love and forgiveness being the central theme of the NT itself isn't enough; in fact, the legalism traditionally valued in Judaism prior to the incarnation re-manifests itself in christian form, screaming that love and forgiveness is only legitimate if proven by religious assimilation, masked as repentance.

Where is the love that jesus preached and lived? The UNCONDITIONAL love (emphasis on unconditional; that means you love your senior pastor the same way you love the transvestite prostitute), which expects no change, and requires nothing in return.

Everything in many churches is so conditional. I love you IF. Love the sinner, hate the sin? That's the very definition of conditional love, so corrupt at its core that its no longer love for anything but one's ego. When you love someone unconditionally, there is no sin. There is nothing but love for that person, good and bad, and THERE is the face of the god you claim to represent.

Somebody asked me if I was a christian tonight. There was a lot of pressure on the statement; I was being analyzed for acceptance by another as esther's boyfriend. I found myself more speechless than I had been all night, stumbling over the words, beginning by answering "yes" and then saying "well, sort of," amidst a flurry of syllabic nonsense phrases. What am I, then?

If I ask you, mom, you will tell me that I am a christian further along in my spiritual journey than many will get their entire lives.

If I ask you, dad, you'll probably tell me that you don't know, because that's something you've become pretty good at saying, and I admire that.

If I ask you, stephen, you'll say no.

If I ask you, esther, you'll say people who think otherwise AREN'T christians.

If I ask you, apu, you will avoid the question, because you think I am not, but you still want my money and your reputation.

If I ask you, jeff taylor, dan jepson, or similar characters, you will give me the most round-about "no" I've ever heard.

If I ask you, biblical scholar, you will give me a convincing argument either way, which effective convinces me of nothing except that you can convince me of nothing.

If I ask you, lizzy, you will either whoop a resounding yes, or you will question what you believe yourself.

If I ask you, scott okamoto, you will give me a little hope for apu by saying something along the lines of "if you aren't, then I'm not either"

If I ask you, Western Evangelical Christian Church, the majority of you will say no, I am not a christian.

You know what? That's ok with me. Here is what I believe:





There is a god. He made stuff happen; I believe specifically it was through divine orchestration, and therefore have no problems with evolution. People need to chill out on that topic.

I believe the bible is a foundation, not a piece of historical fact. There are plenty of things in there that I don't buy, and contrary to what many might say, I don't think this is the salad bar interpretation of the bible. I don't pick and choose by daily taste. I pick and choose by what makes sense. Rather than abandon my mind, and accept things blindly, I'd much rather doubt the integrity of a section of scripture.

I believe the whole jesus shindig. He came, he died, he undied like a zombie, and in the process forgave the sins of many. There's no proof for this; I base this entirely off of gut instinct. I know that humanity is imperfect, and maybe this is just my desperate attempt to reconcile that. Whatever.

I believe in no holy spirit. The holy spirit always seemed to me like an afterthought; an excuse. The old testament had direct connection and massive miracles from god, the middle area and gospels had jesus in the flesh and his apostles, and we get the invisible spirit.

I don't believe god talks, or interacts, or shows signs, or intervenes. In my experience prayer is entirely one-sided; perhaps I was given the wrong manual on it, but that's not important. I don't pray because nobody hears except me. I think that the "natural law" that governs our reality is one that god at creation put in place, and he chooses to abide by it. Basically, I think things just happen as they happen.

This seems trivial but...I don't believe in worship music. I see the value and power in words, and I don't want to let anything exit my mouth that I feel is misrepresentative of me. I feel like it is a lie to sing in church words that I despise.

I don't believe god is uncaring. I believe that as an omnipotent creator, (s)he knows how things will turn out. God has willed godself out of the equation, and is letting the pieces fall as they may. It reminds me of parents watching their child move out. Perhaps things will be good, perhaps they will be bad, but nonetheless, the parents remain behind as observers.

I think I have a weird view of god. I'm pretty much christian minus the bible and prayer. Of course, that makes me not christian, I guess.

If I had to choose, I'd go with Messianic Deist.

~wes~


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