9:34 pm, 10 May 2011 - begin log

Subject: self
Topic: stress

There are two types of stress: functional stress and debilitating stress. Lets examine some key points of both.

Functional Stress:

- Causes sleepiness
- Causes exhaustion
- Result of responsibility/overwhelming feelings
- Often dealt with through avoidance
- Often can be productive
- Stress shows little in physical well-being
- Can be exhilarating in specific situations


Debilitating Stress:

- Lack of sleep
- Severe exhaustion
- Stress is carried in stomach; loss of appetite
- Never promotes productivity
- Cause through emotional dissonance
- Undermines communicative strengths
- Promotes depression
- Often related to romance
- Often spirals
- Fast beating heart/hyperventilation


Diagnosis: Debilitating Stress. All it takes is a walk across the room and my heart races and my stomach hurts. Circles, man. Circles.

I was told a hypocritical thing recently that was very important. Funny how double minded I can be. I can easily believe something for someone else when I don't believe it for myself.

You're safe when you sleep. God is watching.

"Come all you weary, who move through the earth; spurned at fine restaurants and kicked out of church"

"I know you're coming in the night like a thief, but I've had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique. I know you think that I'm someone you can trust, but I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up"